Jokes

Happily Addicted to the Web: Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland"Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',I'm happy--althoughMy boss let me go--Happily addicted to the Web.All night long, I sit clicking,Unaware time is ticking,There's beard on my cheek,Same clothes for a week,Happily addicted to the Web.Friends come by; they shake me,Saying, "Yo, man!Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"With a listless shrug, I mutter, "No, man;I just discovered letterman-dot-com!"I don't phone, don't send faxes,Don't go out, don't pay taxes,Who cares if somedayThey drag me away?I'm happily addicted to the Web!

Bird jokes 01: |Q: Why did the owl, owl?A: Because the woodpecker would peck 'er!Q: What is a polygon?A: A dead parrot!Q: What flies through the jungle singing opera?A: The parrots of Penzance!Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?A: A firequaker!Q: What is a parrot's favorite game?A: Hide and Speak!Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?A: Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!Q: What did the gamekeeper say to the lord of the manor?A: 'The pheasants are revolting'!Q: What is the definition of Robin?A: A bird who steals!Q: When is the best time to buy budgies?A: When they're going cheap!