Jokes

Smitty the Parrot\'s Birthday: Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, "What do you want for your birthday?" Smitty says, "I want to get laid."So Harry takes Smitty to a parrot whore house, gives him a hundred bucks, and Smitty goes upstairs with a hot-looking parrot whore.After a few minutes, Harry hears really loud screeching and squawking, so he runs upstairs and into the room.There's Smitty, holding down the whore parrot and yanking out her colorful feathers."Harry, says Smitty, what the hell are you doing?"Smitty says, "For a hundred bucks I want her nude!"

Sunday School: Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty !" shouted Mary. The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?", but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary. The teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!" The Teacher fainted.